Pain today; had to eat.

I don't know how many of you get migraines, but I'll bet it's quite a few. I woke up with one this morning, plus nausea, so I had to get some food into my stomach. One thing that won't make me throw up is bread, so I had a thick slice of brioche which I made yesterday. I'm hoping it makes the nausea settle down, since my meds aren't. I have to work the late shift today and vow not to take any sick days this year if possible. I probably should take something to work to eat this afternoon, but won't. Can't afford the calories.

I've been reading more on Binge Eating Disorder. It's very common for an overweight or obese person to have it. BED is more or less a compulsive overeating session without purging by vomiting, laxatives, over-exercise, etc. What separates it from an overeating session is the feeling of guilt, shame, and disgust the person feels toward him/herself after, as well as the feeling of powerlessness while the binge is taking place. I know that as an anorexic, I've done small eating sessions, not meeting the criteria for a binge, where I felt out of control. Hunger simply overwhelmed me. I'm sure that you can identify with that. Which is worse, though--emotional hunger or physical hunger? Good question.

In the Ancel Keys study of starvation, men who were starved binged regularly after the study was over. I'll discuss that study in depth here because it shows the effects of extremely low calories (800 or less for weeks) and the disordered eating which occurs both during the semi-starvation and after. It's a fascinating look at our biology of hunger. Now, with knowledge about leptin and ghrelin, I wonder how a study like that would be bolstered or negated by blood tests.

I'm also reading more on the various forms of bariatric surgery, since I have many questions about it. It sounds extremely rigorous, so much so, that I'd have to be desperate to choose it, and I think that people who have it done are desperate. It's a very difficult thing to live with after. I was ignorant enough to think that it always worked, until a friend's husband gained all the weight back after his. I was unaware that could happen until I learned more about it. It's a tough row to hoe to maintain lost weight after, and even to lose the weight a person wants to lose. My hat is off to people who choose that route.

Lots to talk about in the future. I'm behind in my classes, however, so it'll be a few days before I get to them. It's also why I haven't written here since Saturday. I apologize.